There was a hum
white noise
of human whispers
something she could dismiss
but the sound sighed at her
and she knew it was something more
bigger than herself,
monstrously hushed
by the quick rotation of a fan
quieting, but rushing the voices
ever nearer

She clipped each earring on
and zipped the lace up
along her slender neck
feeling a vulnerability
of which there was no suspect
only her intuition, linked in
heart, mind and belly
yet she was of no resolution
to leave the room just yet

The rustle of her dress
an amplifier of this unknown terror
the voices, the humming
found refuge in her silk
intently, she listened
for now she was the holder
of unknown visitors
to the window she went
lifting it to invite the breeze
hoping desperately
they’d be carried away

Yet instead, the brisk wind
spoke even louder
and brought to life
the silk around her legs
creeping under the hem
pebbling the skin beneath
her pale nude stockings

It wouldn’t be long now
until the whirlwind of murmurs
covered her wedding dress
then the expectations
of her future nature
would become her own

She would need no gown
after the I do’s
the speaking dress
would crawl into her skin
only her mind would be spared
if she did this one thing
so before she went to meet her groom
she left her veil behind.

I don’t know how to say this
‘cuz I’m speechless
I’m lucky I can even write it
it’s incredible I can sing it
what you’ve done to me
no other could ever do

It was always so easy
my words like a waterfall
now I struggle with my river
‘cuz all I wanna do
is spend time with you
every moment on paper
every time I say your name
I lose precious few seconds
of that higher state of consciousness
where all that I’m aware of is your love

So please don’t think I’m silent
or incredibly shy
when it comes to you
you are my sun
and I’m your planet
no words need to be said
to show that, by your light
I thrive.

I’m smoking another cigarette
just like the five before
my jacket and tie on the floor
if you were still here
I’d take better care
I swear

when you went away baby
your suitcase just didn’t have clothes
somewhere under your favorite shirt
you stole my heart
and shut it away
the last I saw of it
it was heading the california way

I can’t hate you for
this hole in my chest
lady lonesome
like ghost conductor
taking my train of regrets
straight on through

Please honey
couldn’t you consider it
because I got nothin’ left
just open that suitcase
and pull the window up
doesn’t matter the weather
I know it beats so slow
but it can find a way back

Maybe then
like a blood hound
it will lead me back
to the place
I ought to be

You think you’re awfully clever
a jack of all trades
chameleon shaded tongue
hobgoblin fingers that only
pluck heartstrings to the tune
only you want to dance too

I’m not wise
but I’m no fool
I know the worst sort of
changelings that there are
steal still beating hearts
because your kind
they aren’t so picky
they’ll take the wounded
the lost
the scared
but what scares you the most
is the brave

I am the chemist
the alchemist
that will be your
ultimate undoing
because I still hold the vial
filled with golden truths
and I will place a drop
in the deceived eyes
riveted on you
and your glittering circus
will become choking dust
that will turn your coat
of garish hues
into the tattered hides
you squirm behind

I am the alchemist
I am the iron sword
I am the black smith
Changeling,
I will win back
What you stole.

Winter is the steadfast love
Spring is the sweetest love
Summer is the hottest love
but Autumn is the dying love

the air is still so warm
but that breeze comes by
and i know it’s a dying love
a passion that’s a cancer
trying to live while
it’s all fading to fall
crisp mottled leaves
twist through the air
i raise my arms
just to hold onto the sun
for a moment longer

it’s just so addictive
the trees reach down to me
and kiss my skin gold
and the foliage underneath
streaks my hair like hot fire
would it be a tragedy
if my beauty only blossoms
in the fall?

the waters are still warm
deep down from the summer
but the surface is cool
and i gasp
like the first time
we made heat together
between our hands
while our knuckles
were growing cold

i only love
when everything is falling
curling up and dying
shattering on the ground
is this some sort of curse
or perhaps
some sort of cosmic lesson
that autumn love
living while dying
is the bravest love.

did you ever hear the story
of the girl with frozen memories
all the scenes of her life
laughin’, cryin’, tryin’, livin’
got oh so still and quiet
from one helluva ice storm
oh but that ain’t the tragedy
she’s still livin’ in the present
with her bright skies
and fresh berries that aren’t glass beads
grass that doesn’t shatter
but behind her is only winter
her momma leanin’ over the stove
with a ladle that’ll never drip
and her papa under the hood
black ice stilled in a oil funnel
sister’s frozen pen
carving into sheets of paper
and her lovers mouth
with a galaxy of stars for breath
all those good friends
with hands too slippery to grip
this girl always wanted
to turn away from summer
and go back, her body humming
radiating like the sun
but she can’t melt them out
can’t shatter them free
even though her heart is scorching
it’s her hands that are to blame
from wrists to fingertips
it was her own midas touch
that froze them all to stay

we had it the best
honeyed kisses, endless wishes
but now it’s just a mess
you wanted me to come
but i couldn’t grab your hand
because i had no dust
and you wanted never never

my pockets full of marbles
the world tethered me down
oh i can’t believe i missed out
on your never never
and i’m breathing all their sins
husks of men full of lust
songs of sirens singing ‘em
straight to their deaths

i see you up in the sky
the clouds your stage
your shining fingers reaching
enough to burn my hair gold
never never, you say
and all the pain will go away

i’m waist deep in this muck
can’t stop from saving these fools
thieves, liars and cowards
oh my hands are just to keep them
from sinking any deeper
i can’t seem to get one free
to come to your never never

for you i’m gonna save them all
all the love that can’t reach you
i’ll use to burn up all the pain
oh to get to your never never
i’ll carry these fallen on my back
gonna eat the bad away
and cry for forty days and forty nights

then maybe i can reach you
but i know it ain’t now
there’s too much hatin’
and not enough healin’
oh but when i get tired
i kiss your fingertips
to keep fighting towards
your never never

You’re looking for still waters
oh your life’s just so busy
need a steady hand to carry on
you need a glass house
that no love could shatter

well baby i done screwed up
because my hands are shakin’
and my tongue is quaking
my mind is just endless troubled waters
rotten ships and tattered ghosts
nothin’ i can do for you here

i’m the kinda girl with matchstick hair
and oh you
you can time your wanderings
and your toes always count to ten
all i got for show
is a handful of shattered glass
darlin in every shard is a different me

i wish i could do it
stitch it up nice and sweet
be that lady you’d proud to
bring to one of your meet and greets
but i’ll have one fist in the punch
tell a joke to make you lose your lunch
jesus please, don’t bring me home to daddy

i’m the kinda girl with matchstick hair
and oh you
you can time your wanderings
and your toes always count to ten
all i got for show
is a handful of shattered glass
darlin in every shard is a different me

you don’t even know if i’m around for
protection or predation
but i got a curse
that goes a hundred stars back
oh i tried, pills by the sack
sporadic, erratic, lamictalic
can’t bring you even a moment of peace
and oh god i wish how

i’m the kinda girl with matchstick hair
and oh you
you can time your wanderings
and your toes always count to ten
all i got for show
is a handful of shattered glass
darlin in every shard is a different me

oh baby i’d just bring you down
but it’d take more then one wish
to make me right for you
honey, but if i could make those wishes
i’d be runnin’ home to you.

My dreams are wicked
They drown me beneath miles of sea
and when, finally, I have passed every leviathan
spun uncontrolled in the wakes of their travel
to reach the surface
my wrinkled fingers break through
layers of thick honeycomb
crawling with fuzzy, bloated bumblebees